Why It's Okay to Be Fragile

 In a world that tells women that they need to be strong, independent and busy, there is hardly any room for fragility. Being delicate and nearing a broken state is something that is to be avoided, or most often associated with premenstrual syndrome. The image that comes to mind when I hear the word "fragile" is a beautiful, delicate little china tea cup. Very few women feel that it is okay to feel as fragile as a piece of china.

As Christian women we are called to trust God and "lean not on our own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5)  To fully trust God and surrender ourselves to Him requires us to be fragile, as He often is breaking us; our wills, desires, and sin, and then putting us back together with His love and sovereignty, which acts as a glue that truly sticks.

While the Lord is our strength, our humanity makes us fragile. Life can hit hard, causing us to find ourselves absolutely clinging to God and His promises,being the only thing that has a chance to help us get through the day. The woman who finds out that her husband has an aggressive form of cancer is fighting through the hours of each day, desperately afraid that at any moment she is going to start crying and not be able to stop.

The woman who finds herself knee deep in depression, feeling as if she is going to suffocate under the weight of it all, and is afraid to stop eating, drinking,shopping or sleeping with random men, because she doesn't know when she is going to break and what that will look or feel like.

This summer I found myself in a very low and dark place. I felt that at any point I was just going to burst into tears or run away and never return. People would ask how I am, and I just couldn't say "I'm fine" or " I'm great!", because it simply wasn't true. I walked around feeling like instead of walking on egg shells, I was the egg shells; ready to crack and smash into pieces at any given point.

It was during this time that I felt like God was telling me that just as it is okay to be broken, it is acceptable to be fragile. That even though I had the promises of Jesus, His constant companionship and His undying love, that it was okay to feel like I was going to break. That me being so breakable was a deeper opportunity to learn how to depend on my Abba, and if He needed to break me, it would all be okay because it wasn't my strength in the first place, it was His. 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy and with my song I praise Him. The Lord is the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His anointed ones."-Psalm 28:7-8