Emptied

We all have those days where we feel empty. I think it is safe to say that nearly everything that we use on this earth can become empty at some point. Even a plentiful source of something like water can run dry when you need it the most. When we are empty of something, there is naturally a little void that takes it's place.  Voids of emptiness tend to be viewed as a negative thing; it is something that is representing that something is missing. When a child wanders off to the toy aisle in a department store while her mother is not looking, the panicked void of that mother is intense when she realizes that her child is missing. Sometimes I think that is the feeling that God would like us to feel when we are empty of Him. We should feel that something is missing and that missing that something is certainly uncomfortable and at times, painful.

In my new life as a full time, live in "granny nanny" I am learning the concept of "empty" in a very new and profound way. As Christians, one of the prayers of our lives should be that Christ will "empty me of me, and fill me with more of you". Because of our humanity and the sin that results from this, we will never truly be able to be completely filled with Christ. God is the author of perfect design, and I truly believe that He designed it this way for a purpose. If we were always filled with Christ, why would we ever need to search, to hunger and to thirst to find Him and to fill that void? 

Upon this new chapter of my life, I am feeling an emptiness of self that has been quite eye opening. Everything from my sleep, to when I eat and communicate with others is all directly affected by my little protege's needs. Her needs will always come before my own, because not only is that my job, but that is love. For a long time my prayer has been that God would consistently be able to help me view my job and work place as a ministry. When we have such a view, I believe that we see and respond to things in a way that enables us to know how to truly love and serve those we come in contact with. As I have written before, the only way to produce peace and serenity is by living our lives as if they are not our own.

Yesterday around 3:00, I looked in the mirror and was a little startled at what I saw. No make up, bags under my eyes, sweat pants, zip up sweat shirt, t-shirt and a messy pony tail containing hair that is severely in need of a trim and color job.  And yet, despite my disheveled appearance, I was at peace and at rest in my heart, because I knew with everything in me that being here and taking care of my little southern stinker is exactly where God wants me to be. Being emptied of myself so that He can fill me with more of Him and enable me to do His work, is the greatest blessing we can receive as Christians, aside from His gift of salvation.

To ask Christ to empty us of us, is to admit and believe and know that there is nothing good in us that should remain there, especially if given the option to be filled with something Holy and perfect. It is being put in situation after situation of being tired, weary and tested to your limits so that who is within me can enable me to experience such a peace and fulfillment. Such a revelation and understanding has led me to an even deeper desire to be a mother, for surely it has to be a similar life. I am finding that this world that I now live in pales in comparison to climbing the corporate ladder and punching a time clock. It is a kind of "hard" that I have never experienced before, but it is the most rewarding and satisfying career that I have had thus far. May I be so blessed as to someday experience such an honorable life role.

In your emptiness, may you seek resolution by asking Christ to fill the void that He himself placed in your heart.  In your search to fill the many voids that enters your world, may it not take you long to come to the unending flow and source of Jesus Christ. And once He fills those voids, may you see it as not a void filled, but as self killed.