Sunday, July 22, 2012

Lessons from Job

Have you ever read something that is full of truth and wisdom, and yet it makes you angry? I have come to learn that the very fact that it makes me angry calls for further investigation as to why. I'm not referring to those ever popular "self help" books that teach you how to be the ideal christian woman/man, because half of the time those books are so full of legalistic junk that it deserves to be thrown across the room. I'm talking about those things we read that make perfect and complete sense, but do not at all align with your feelings and emotions at that current moment.

Two days ago, I read the following passage out of my daily reading entitled "The Language of Letting Go" by Melodee Beattie. 

"Do not be in such a hurry to move on. Relax. Breathe deeply. Be. Be in harmony today.
 Be open. There is beauty all around and in us today. There is purpose and meaning in today.
 The is importance in today-not so much in what happens to us, but how we respond.
 Let today happen. We learn our lessons, we work things out, we change in a simple fashion: by   living our life fully in today.
  Do not worry about tomorrow's feelings, problems, or gifts. Do not worry about whether or not we trust ourselves, life or our Higher Power tomorrow.
  Everything we need today shall be given to us. That is a promise from God-from the universe. Enjoy today's gifts. Trust yourself, life and your higher power today. Acquire the art of living fully today. Absorb the lessons, the healing, the beauty, the love available to us today.
   Do not be in such a rush to move on. There is no hurry. We cannot escape; we only postpone. Let the feelings go.; breathe in peace and healing. 
   Do not be in such a hurry to move on. "- Melodee Beattie

When I read this passage Thursday morning while slamming down some cocoa puffs, I wanted to throw this book across the room. "Who IS this woman?! She obviously isn't going through what I'm dealing with right now." was the very sentence that ran through my head. And yet I knew she was right, which made me mad. I wanted to be right. I wanted my emotions, my feelings, my current perspective on my hardships, to be right. I had HAD it. If there was an imaginary line of "enough" and being "full to the brim", I had reached it. This attitude carried on throughout the rest of the day. In fact, it just got fed with the negativity of my work environment and what seemed like a million and one things that happened in 8 hours that I couldn't control. "Do not be in such a rush to move on." How could this be true, when all I want to do is fast forward my life OUT of this season and stage, as quickly as I can?!

This morning I made some coffee and sat down with Jesus for awhile. It had been awhile since I had really sat down and talked with him. Per the inspiration and instruction of a good friend, I opened up Job, and read the first 19 chapters. I realized that after God had taken everything away from Job, allowed Him to have festering sores and be materialized to skin and bones, that Job would have definitely thrown the "Language of Letting Go" daily reading across the room as well. 
 But then it hit me.  Job never knew why God allowed those things to happen; all Job knew is that cursing God wasn't the answer. God had faith in Job. I've always known about the concept of having faith in God, but the concept of God having faith in His children, is something I haven't really explored before. It has been said in scripture that God will never give us more then what we can handle; that is a promise. But accompanied with that promise, is the fact that He does so, because He has faith in us that we can endure the storms because of our faith in Him. 

Why would God choose to have faith in me, a poor, miserable sinner who is virtually helpless without Him? From what I've seen, I'm not a very reliable individual for the God of the universe to put His faith in me. However, the grace of God supports this truth. "But He said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."- 2nd Corinthians 12:9.  Could it be that God has faith in us, simply because by knowing this truth, He is able to demonstrate His perfect and amazing faithfulness and grace in our lives?

Dear brothers and sisters, as you walk in your faith in God, may it be accompanied with the truth that He has faith in you; that during the biggest hurricanes of life and the highest mountain tops that you encounter, His grace and faith in you is demonstrated in ways that will allow you to trust Him on an even deeper level then you ever have before. Trust Him. Walk with Him. Believe in Him, because He believes in you.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Face to Face

The other day I was asked a very thought provoking question. "What do you think is the first thing you would do when you see Jesus face to face?". The very first answer that came to mind was the word "cry". I think I would be so overwhelmed with emotion to see my Jesus after all these years. The one consistent, constant, ever present being in my life looking at me with what I picture to be deep, piercing eyes. I believe His eyes alone... such kind, peaceful, "deeper then the ocean" eyes...will bring me to my knees, causing me to wrap my arms around his legs like a small child would do. He would place His strong hand on my chin, and turn my tear stained face to His. 
"You've made it my beautiful Sarah. I knew you would, because I knew every step you would ever take before you were born." I picture that I wouldn't be able to mutter much of anything, and I would just continue to look at Him as He would speak to me.
"I've longed for this day Sarah. I know it's been rocky journey...I know there were times where you doubted that I would pull through, where you thought that you couldn't handle one more hardship and you wondered if I had left you. But now you see my dear Sarah, I haven't left you, and I never did. I have kept every promise, I have fought every battle and I have taken you to places you've only dreamed of, as well as places that you've never dreamed of, because you couldn't comprehend in your humanity that it was even possible or existed.
 I have felt your hand in mine since you were born, and even when you with held your hand from me so that you could try to do things on your own, I just waited for you to give me your hand again. I loved walking with you, and I'm so glad you've walked with me all the way to this point. Now in the glories of heaven and out of the perils of the earthly world; now my dear, dear Sarah, now you will understand my love to the fullest extent.

Welcome home darling. Welcome home. "