Friday, May 20, 2011

"She did what she could"

I struggle with being an "all or nothing" kind of girl. I can't just eat one Oreo cookie. If I am going to make the choice to eat an Oreo cookie, you better believe it'll be more then one. I can't just clean my apartment one room at a time, spreading out tasks over a few days; I have to do it all in one fell swoop. In my relationships with people, I struggle with any sort of mediocrity on either end. I want to be fully engaged and present in a relationship, or not have it at all.
I have found that this also translates into my relationship with God. I struggle to just give Him a little of my time, or to say a quick prayer before heading out the door. When I spend time with God, I want to give Him my full, complete and uninterrupted attention.
Could it be that as human beings, there are so many things that are required of us to do, that we just want to spend our energy on those things that will make us feel or appear "successful"? As I talked to God about this possibility, I was led to a scripture which I have read a thousand times before, but this time God shed a beautiful light on such a simple passage.
Turn with me to Mark 14. This chapter tells the story of the woman who brought an alabaster jar of expensive perfume ( a years worth of wages), and anointed Jesus. After being chastised by the onlookers, Jesus spoke the following words in verses 6 and 8:
"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me... She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body before hand to prepare me for my burial."
"She did what she could". This sentence became illuminated as the Holy Spirit tenderly spoke to my heart. The truth is friends, there are many, many things that we want to do and achieve. But too often fear takes hold of us, as we struggle to even make that first step, because somewhere deep inside we have believed a lie that what we have to offer is simply not enough. You know what I just realized? That giving God our "everything" is synonymous with "doing what we can". What a beautiful truth that is!
Just as the humble woman at Bethany poured her years worth of wages on her Master, so are we to pour ourselves into trusting our Savior that not only is what we can do enough, but that we are enough. And furthermore, may we never forget that in our own ability we will never be able to apply this truth to our lives.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Dusty Inspiration

This morning over a raspberry fritter and a "vanilla ice cream" flavored brewed coffee, a dear friend of mine candidly shared with me a shocking, but profound truth. "Sarah, you've lost your inspiration. How do you plan on getting it back?".
How indeed?
After I contemplated that statement, I realized how true it really is. I, Sarah Ardella Green, who has been known for getting inspired over things as simple and silly as a flavored coffee creamer, has lost her inspiration. The comforting thing about something being "lost" is that there is still the possibility that it can be found. And in this case, I know that my inspiration hasn't been stolen by anyone or anything to the point where it is irretrievable. It's just hiding under some thick dust, ready to be blown and brushed off, revealing it's true beauty and color. Yes, that's it. I picture my inspiration to be this beautiful, hand carved cherry wood hope chest, with intricate and ornate carvings of vines, crosses and delicate flowers. Then one day when life got crazy, my inspiration got shoved to the attic. And you know what happens to things that get shoved to an attic; they get forgotten until something triggers the memory that it's still there.
Well, I'm ready to dust off my inspiration and get back to "being Sarah". Not sure what that will look like or the changes that will take place. I hope it takes me somewhere new, as my current scenery is kind of drab. I have been convicted that my inspiration lies solely in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I am able to "be Sarah" when I am completely and totally submersed in my Jesus. A quote that I love is "A woman should be so close to the Lord, that a man must go through Him to get to her heart." That is the prayer of my heart. That is where my inspiration lies.
It's time.