Disarrayed Soul=Disarayed Life

I have never been an organized or "neat" person. I have always struggled with the concept of making my bed in the morning, and hanging up all my clothes once I'm done wearing them. Somehow life always gets away from me, and what was once one coffee mug in my car multiplies to three. It seems that no matter what area I regularly inhabit, the same nasty habits follow me wherever I go. When I was on tour with the Continentals, I regularly left at least one thing behind at host homes, even after I "combed" the place out. My family will tell you that they know when I've been there, because I leave a trail of bobby pins.
I had always thought that my messiness was a result of being lazy or tired. However, I had become so overwhelmed and busy with life, that it took being sick and isolated to get me to really let things go, and "be still". Doing this when your apartment is in a disarrayed mess was a rather harsh reminder of how much I have neglected myself. My car is the same way. It desperately needs to be cleaned, but those two things are areas that I just haven't paid attention to. I read a quote in a book that I'm reading ("Let Me be a Woman" by Elizabeth Elliot). The quote went something like this " The condition of our environments is a reflection of the condition of our souls". That truth hit me like a ton of bricks. That quote was an exact representation of my life right now. I just can't help but wish I was one of those "anal cleaners" who have a disarrayed soul, but an immaculate house, and are very organized. Ha ha!
All this time I thought that my messy habits were simply that: messy habits. But recently God has shown me that it is only a symptom that has resulted out of the condition of my soul. The deeper I dove into this, the more I realized why indeed He allowed me to be smacked with so many annoying physical ailments. It was a rather painful way of Him intervening to show me the pain that I was harboring; the mess in my soul. In a sense, living in this chaotic, messy environment has convicted me of the fact that if I'm willing to live in this, what would stop me from being willing to put up with the same thing within my heart?
God is a God of order, complete control and peace. Most of my life has been anything but those adjectives. Could it be that chaos, disorder and dysfunctionality is what I am comfortable with? Is it so much a part of me, that it took being knocked on my butt to realize how dysfunctional parts of my life have become? the answer is a resounding YES. Once again, I view this blog as a ministry; as a "heart to heart "chat with a good friend over a cup of coffee in a cozy cafe. I risk my vulnerability with you. I desire to be transparent, so that my genuine honesty can be used to HIS glory, and will speak into the lives of my readers. I hope that sharing this fact about myself has fulfilled that.Now, the question that remains for me is this: How do I gain peace and organization within my soul? The answer is: Jesus. However, I know that the application portion of that answer is a titch more complicated then that. So, hence the journey continues. A journey that I didn't really realize I was on, until I was smacked with an abscessed tooth, upper respiratory infection and gastric intestinal yuckiness. The things it takes for God to get our attention! Oofta.
May the God of peace and order act as a broom to sweep out anything that isn't to be in your life. May you turn to Him to give you the strength to overcome your weaknesses, and to lean on His grace, which is our only hope. May you have a greater understanding of what it means to do "spring cleaning" in your heart, and have the courage to throw away things that are taking up unnecessary space. May the cobwebs in the corners of your life be swept out, and may you not run too far when you encounter those spiders along the way.

God bless you all!