Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Embracing Sovereignty

 God is God, and I am not.

This is a statement that I have found myself saying over and over again in countless scenarios that have taken place in my life. There is such great comfort in the reality that I am a broken and sinful human being by default, and that the Maker of the Heavens is my perfect, heavenly Father. When I think of what a gift this is.... a flawed, unmolded piece of clay that has fallen off of the Potter's wheel time and time again with a giant "SPLAT!"... how can I ever question His ways, His timing, His plan?

As I sit here in my Tuesday morning insomnia, I feel a very strong urge of the Holy Spirit to convey this profound truth:

God is God and I am not.

With every turn we are bombarded with  this idea of what we "should" have and what we "should" be feeling. We are told that debt is bad and more money is good. We inherently know with everything in us that pain is bad, though a person with leprosy would give anything to feel pain; to feel a warning that something bad is about to happen.

But that's just it friends. Bad things do happen without warning. Things that make us feel awful and cause us to lose sleep. But what is it that separates the good things in life from the bad?

If God is in all things....if we believe in our heart of hearts that He is sovereign and holds our lives in the palm of His hand.... why is there a distinction between good and bad, when God is in the good and bad and therefore,  it is all Gods?

He created us to understand this distinction in our humanity. After all, who really wants to break an arm or lose a loved one to the disease of Dementia? Who wants to experience the death of a baby, the cancer that has invaded a spouse, or losing a job without any warning?

There are days where I wish that the amount of prayers I pray would move God to a result that I desire. These are not frivolous desires like being able to find my car keys or being able to lose weight without diet and exercise. No, these are deep seeded desires and cries to God for the Salvation of a family member, cures of the sick and healing for those who have been emotionally abused. It is in moments like these where I wished that if I prayed enough or even at all, that God would answer my prayer the way that I want it to be answered.

But what if God doesn't want a cure? What if the things that make us cry out to God are put in place and allowed for a deeper purpose than how I feel at that time?

If God is sovereign and I'm a sinner on her way to her eternal home, who am I to question His ways? All I can do is press deeper and deeper into my Jesus. All I can do is embrace His sovereignty and trust that through my pain, how I feel is a faded fact compared to this truth.

"Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose."- Isaiah 46:9-10

Monday, September 1, 2014


 Clutter. It has the potential to be everywhere, while simultaneously driving us mentally insane. It starts with the mail from yesterday that got tossed on the dining room table in a moment of "I don't have the energy to face this right now", and throughout the weeks more and more things accumulate for different reasons.

Those who follow the "Zen" mentality will say that a physically cluttered environment equals a cluttered mind, of which I whole heartedly agree. Maybe that is why I feel like I can't tackle important things like written correspondence, writing, reading, etc., until the house is clean. Clutter can be a distraction on so many levels, but clutter can also stop us from reaching that space that is clean and clear and free of stress and limitations; a space that we are able to truly breathe and take in all of life as God intended it.

Many of you know that I am a personal care taker for a woman for one of my jobs. God literally brought her right to my place of work, in which He met my financial need and her need for assistance to make it through her life. Recently this lady has moved from a larger condo to a very small one bed room apartment, which has proven to be a very trying and emotional experience for her. I have assisted her in thinking things through to make decisions, physically lifting and moving boxes and being a general companion to shoulder life with two days a week.

Throughout the last six months it has been a never ending cycle of trips to and from her condo, emptying things into the sun room of her new apartment. Piles of "not sure what to do with this", " I can't bear to throw this away but I don't know why", and "I'm sure I will need this at some point" began to take up her entire apartment. But little by little, each box was emptied, trips to second hand stores were made and gradually she is beginning to let go.

Last week we made such significant improvement that she was now able to open the door to her porch that overlooks the mountains. The look on her face was happy and peaceful when she realized that she could now open up the door to the outside world.

As I watched her open the door, I couldn't help but feel the chill of the Holy Spirit in that room as He gently reminded me of how so many things can clutter my life, blocking the entrance of His presence. In a world that is telling us to "Go, go, go!", a world that is telling us that we haven't made enough of our time that day and to find purpose in our productivity, we have become cluttered, blocking off the very thing that we need to make it through this life.

Fear is often the factor that keeps us from being able to open the door. I am reminded of the TLC show "Hoarders", and how so many of those people developed the hoarding habit because their fear was so immense that they needed to be able to control something; they needed to be able to find solace in something physical.

Friends, it is the physical that clutters, serving as a barricade to the life giving source of Jesus Christ.

May you have the courage to ask God to show you your "clutter". May that realization prompt you to make way to stepping on that porch patio, drinking in the sunshine and breeze of His grace.